My Girl

Having two boys and then a girl gives you a unique perspective on gender and raising kids. My big, healthy, vibrant, deep voiced little girl is a force. She doesn’t back down, is stubborn to complete break down, and leaps into everything with no fear. She literally has NO fear and that in itself is scary, but I try to celebrate it where I can. And there is something so refreshing about a girl just being free and fearless, isn't there?

I’m not into pink, which seems to bother other people more than it bothers me. I never intended to have a pink, bedazzled, tutu-ed little girl. A wears some of the boys’s clothes mixed with some new things and hand-me-downs from friends with girls. She gets excited about dresses, but is equally happy to wear a super hero t-shirt and I don't get any excitement from dressing her up like a doll... So, it's a win for all of us.

I encourage her to play with her brothers, whether it be cars or trains or super heroes. I love hearing her yell “Darth Vader!” while keeping up with the boys during light saber fights. Every now and then she’ll pick up a doll, proclaim it to be her “baby,” give it a hug, and then swiftly throw it to the ground and I see a bit of what could be pre-programmed gender moves coming out.

Will I encourage her to do "girl" things? Yes, in a way. I loved dance lessons, so will want her to give it a try. I equally loved soccer and swimming, so those will be encouraged as well. For me, there is safety in a girl who is taught she is strong and capable. It can't just be when they're little and don't know any better.

There is this idea that little girls explode from their baby chub as a fawn-like ballerina… graceful and quiet and sweet. That’s just not my girl. Nor would I want it to be.

This post was inspired by The Underground Girls of Kabul by journalist Jenny Nordberg, who discovers a secret Afghani practice where girls are dressed and raised as boys. Join From Left to Write on September 16th as we discuss The Underground Girls of Kabul. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Prayers For The Stolen: A Reminder of What Can Happen Anywhere

It felt like not too long ago that I was a mom of boys... Honestly, before I had A I was afraid of having a girl. I wrote about it when reading another From Left To Write pick. Funny, I was writing about it as hypothetical thing then... IF I have a girl. Why I was afraid of what that COULD mean. And then it happened. And a year and a half later I'm still unsettled about what the world can do to a female.

Bringing a girl into the world is a beautiful thing. People ask me all the time whether it feels different from having boys. It does, but it doesn't. The biggest difference is the concern I feel for her future.  I know that boys aren't guaranteed safety, but females are more vulnerable in this world. Period. And that scares me for A. She is more vulnerable physically. More likely to be objectified. Faces more pressure in very different ways.

Reading Prayers for the Stolen just reminded me of that reality. It feels silly to show concern as I type this from my cozy, safe suburban couch after reading about what the women in the book face in trying to keep their daughters safe. A very real life for far too many young girls in this world, I thought. 

So, while I sat here feeling all cozy I wondered just how safe we are here. It's easy to think that human trafficking is one of those issues that isn't that big of a deal for our children in the U.S. We all know that there is human trafficking in the U.S., but what's the reality?

Turns out Illinois is one of the least safe states. According to the Polaris Project, the top five states for human trafficking are:
1. California
2. Texas
3. Florida
4. New York
5. Illinois

So, who is at risk? According to The Covering House, 300,000 children are at risk for being trafficked in the U.S. That's just children.

All too often we feel like things aren't happening here, but they are... And, trust me, I know that there is no comparison to the real, daily threat that millions of people face every day in other areas of the world. And I also know that the real threat is based on many other factors. However, that's not my point. My point is: We're all at risk if any one in the world is at risk.

This post was inspired by the novel Prayers for the Stolen by Jennifer Clement.  Ladydi was grew up in rural Mexico, where being a girl is a dangerous thing.She and other girls were “made ugly” to keep protect them from drug traffickers and criminal groups. Join From Left to Write on February 18 we discuss Prayers for the Stolen. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Amelia: Age One

Sweet Amelia is ONE. It happened like whiplash. Amelia - the girl we didn't expect - has been an incredible addition to our male dominated family. From day one she has been mild mannered and sweet. She has slept well, eats well, entertains herself, and is just an all-around happy baby.

Amelia adores her older brothers and they are incredibly sweet to her - especially William. She loves to be in the thick of it and prefers playing with cars, dinosaurs, trucks, and blocks. The only traditionally gender stereotypical thing she loves are shoes. She likes to walk around with her shoes in hands and raises her foot in anticipation when you're ready to put her shoes on.

Amelia is a hugger and a kisser. She squeezes so tightly and loves a good cuddle. On the other hand, she growls at the boys and throws down when fighting for a toy. Never shy to jump into a wrestling pile, Amelia can totally hang with the boys.

She started walking right at her first birthday (which puts her right between the boys) and she adds new words each day. Her favorites are "mama," "dada," "stop,"' "william,"  and "howie." She chants "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle" and shakes her shoulders. She yells "me" when she see you eating something she wants and nods and shakes her head to answer questions.

Her favorite foods are bananas (seriously, she can't get enough), apple sauce, cheese, bagels with cream cheese, and strawberries. She's not very adventurous with food and spits out most new flavors, but when she likes something she really, really likes it.

Amelia is into everything. She wanders around the house looking for baskets, purses, boxes, and anything else that might have treasures for her to sort through. She is guaranteed to knock down any tower the boys have built or wipe out a delicately constructed race track. She has figured how to disassemble our tried and true baby proofing (we use lots of rubber bands) and scurries up the stairs before we even realize she has left the room.

I'm trying as hard as I can to savor my last baby firsts. However, I can't help but look forward to getting to know her better and watch the girl she will become. This baby is just so fun. We have had a blast this last year.

Our world is brighter because of Amelia. She wakes up with a smile and spends a minute hugging you before looking around in the direction of her brothers playing. Our favorite thing about Amelia is the line she is always walking between sweet, trouble, and tough. You can see it in her eyes... It's almost as if she is always in on the joke. This baby has excellent timing. She knows when she has an audience and she works it.

I see the way she already asserts her position in our family and I hope she holds onto her spunk and joy as she grows.

A Girl In Boy's Clothes

She's adorable, right? Granted I'm biased, but seriously... Look at that face. I'll say it again: LOOK AT THAT FACE. Does it look like a boy's face to you? Because whether I dress her in pink or blue people always refer to her as a boy... every where we go. It could be her bald head.

Whatever it is, I don't really care. Everyone calls B a girl due to his curly blond locks and tiny little features. It hasn't made me cut his hair and it won't make me stop dressing her in cute blue outfits. I have them, might as well use them, right?

A Blip On The Radar

It's been a long time since I've posted. I don't know that I've ever gone this long since setting up this here blog, but I haven't had a second to post. I've been busy staring at this face:

Can you blame me?

I used to spend almost my entire day on the computer, but these days I'm hardly able to check my email. There never seems to be a time when my hands are free or someone won't attack an open keyboard (W and B charge every time I open the computer).

Here's the honest assessment of having three kids: Everyone who says that going from two kids to three kids is no big deal is LYING or has kids that are much more generously spaced. Seriously, we might as well have ten kids running around our house. It's nuts around here. NUTS. I pity people who try to actually have a phone conversation with me, because it mostly means they're listening to me talking to a toddler or trying to pacify a crying baby.

But, we're getting into the groove, which is why I'm posting tonight... Baby Girl is sleeping in her bassinet instead of cradled in my arms. Wow, right? I'm not even sure what to do with myself! So, I'm going to wrap this up, fold a load of laundry, throw in another load (cuz it NEVER ends), and then get some sleep.

Let's consider this a little blip on the radar... More activity will be coming soon.

Goal: Don't Let Baby Get Sick

Mission impossible: Keep this girl from catching our cold, respiratory infection, croup, etc.

Baby #3 came home to one brother with a fever and the other with a killer cold. Two weeks later the cold has been passed around the house and both boys have had ear infections, I have an upper respiratory infection, and just last night B woke up with the croup cough. Once you have a kid with croup you know exactly what it sounds like, the distinct seal barking noise kind of makes your heart sink. W's case of croup was nothing like B's was last night, but the second I heard that cough I knew we were in for a long night. Matt steamed him a few times, then brought him outside into the cool air, and then it was morning and the cough went away leaving with us with an overtired, terribly congested, runny nose, drooling toddler. And despite how crappy he must feel, he's just as rambunctious and mischievous as ever.

The main goal of having a newborn is to keep her from getting sick for the first couple of months. I didn't realize how important this is until I had B and we ended up in the hospital due to a fever. Before that I couldn't understand why the pediatrician was so crazy about keeping kids out of our house... then I learned. And now I'm crazy about keeping her healthy. This also means that Matt is handling the boys when they're sick and when the reach out to me for a hug I have to blow them a kiss and rub their head to keep myself as germ-free as possible for when I nurse the baby.

So far A has been OK. Yesterday her two week check up revealed thrush, which explains a lot of the fussiness we were dealing with overnight. But, she is otherwise a-ok. I just wonder how the heck you keep a baby from catching something during the peak of colds and flu -- with a kid going to preschool every day. If anyone has a bubble she and I can hang out in for the next week, I would gladly take it.

Two Weeks Home

We've been home for just about two weeks with our newborn girl. It's been pretty great. The boys are good with her and for the most part don't even realize she's around. They're doing a terrific job playing together and we're getting into a nice groove.

W goes to preschool every morning. B naps for a couple of hours while he is gone and I have quiet time with the baby. I'd like to think that soon I'll start filling that time with some exercise, laundry, crock pot preparation, blogging, thank you note writing, working on birth announcements, and all of the other things that I feel like I should be doing.

But, knowing that this is my last time having a little newborn to snuggle and sleep on my chest, I'm trying to enjoy those moments. If that means the rest of the stuff gets delayed, then I'm ok with that.

Welcome Baby Amelia

It's been quiet around here, I know. I lost all energy or motivation to post in the last couple of months. Things would happen and I would think "I need to blog about this..." But then I wouldn't. However, something happened and I must blog about it.... We're now a family of FIVE.

Our male domimated household has received a 7 pound shot of estrogen.

Her name is Amelia. And we are insanely in love with this sweet girl.