Sports... We're Getting There

My sister was the athlete in our family. I was an OK athlete, but she was a very talented and driven swimmer that blew us all away. So. it made it easy for me to not put in a ton of effort since the title of best athlete was claimed in our house and there was really no competition to begin with. But, I played all kinds of sports... My mom made me try everything and I stuck with a few things for a while. Looking back I can really appreciate that I had the opportunity to learn a foundation for everything.

Now that we're getting closer to the age when kids start getting involved with sports, I'm a little freaked out. W has no interest. He has been in swimming lessons for more than two years and it has been slow going. We did a couple of soccer classes over the last few years that had me spending more time convincing him to cooperate and give it a try than actually participating. We don't play a lot of catch or watch many sports. We enjoy sports, but it's just not really a focus in our house.

So, I didn't sign W up for anything this fall. I asked last spring and he said no. And then he said it again this fall, so I backed off. Now he wants to play soccer, so we're looking toward the spring season. Honestly, I'm thrilled, because I love soccer. But, I've seen some of the kids his age play and they're ACTUALLY ABLE TO PLAY SOCCER. And then I worry that about my good-natured goofball who has a pair of left feet and very little drive. How is that going to come out on a soccer field?

I've never wanted to force my kids into doing anything, but I firmly believe that they have to play a sport for a whole long list of reasons. I just hope that we find the right one for each of them. I want to see them excel, sure. But - more so - I want to see them feel confident and happy and at home with what they're doing.

This post was inspired by Barracuda by Christos Tsiolkas, a novel where former Olympic hopeful Dan destroys his swimming career and his attempt at redemption after prison. Join From Left to Write on September 30th as we discuss Barracuda. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Reading Aloud... The Moment I've Been Waiting For

Just. Can't. Stop.

I'm a book lover - clearly - and I've been one as long as I can remember. My mom read aloud to us a lot. She would sit on the ground with her back supported by the bed and my sisters and I would lay in various positions and listen. My favorite position was hanging over the bed, reading over her shoulder... I remember her reading Little Women so clearly. I still love that book. And I learned that books can touch you so deeply to bring you to tears and give you such a true connection to characters. Beth's death. Ugh. My heart still breaks when I think about it and remember my mom crying as she read it aloud to us. It was beautiful.

Being read to, being introduced to the beauty of stories and words are some of my most vivid memories. It was such an important part of the time I spent with my mom and my sisters. To sit and listen and learn and connect. It was a gift and I can't wait to share the same moments with my own kids. It's hard to believe we're getting there.

W has already proven to be a deep lover of books as well. I've been sensing it could be the right time to pull out some classics. Like real, intense books... books that are big on words and low on pictures. I have a long list. We're in the middle of getting through Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and he loves it. He begs for more, but it's hard to find the time to get through a chapter or two. It just makes me so excited for all the books I'll get to read to him in the next few years. Because - man - this boy loves a good story.

What are your first memories of books as a child?

This post was inspired by the classic Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl, which celebrates its 50th anniversary this year. To celebrate, Penguin Young Readers Group, in partnership with Dylan’s Candy Bar, the world-famous candy emporium, and First Book, a nonprofit social enterprise that provides books for children from low-income families, is launching a year-long international celebration.

Head over to From Left to Write to learn how you and your child can have a chance to win the Golden Ticket Sweepstakes where the grand prize is a magical trip to New York City plus much more! For every entry submitted, Penguin Young Readers Group will make a donation to First Book. Then, join From Left to Write on July 24 as we discuss Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. As a book club member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Flashback to Care Bears

My super hero-loving boys are suddenly into Care Bears. And I love it. Totally love it. Honestly, I sometimes get tired of super hero cartoons and the like. I can't preview everything before they watch it and I'm tired of hearing them run around the house play fighting each other. The easiest answer for me was to introduce them to the cartoons that I remember from my childhood on Netflix... Like Care Bears.

My expectations weren't high, but they actually liked it and asked to watch it again. It's not an every day thing, but hearing them sing some of the songs later in the afternoon is pretty sweet. Since then they've watched Robin Hood, Strawberry Shortcake, and Dragon Tales. Is it just me or are these blasts from the past a little sweeter than what kids are watching today?

Here's your opportunity to introduce your kids to your favorites... I'm giving away a THREE MONTH NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION! Cool, right?

Here's how you can enter the Netflix giveaway... Tell me your favorite old school show! It's that easy.

If you want to be nice and follow me on twitter and Facebook and all that jazz, then cool. But, I'm just more interested in hearing new ideas for shows I can look for on Netflix!

A random winner will be chosen on May 21st.

Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix Stream Team.

Emails Help Piece Together Our History

You could piece together some of my history with the emails and cards between my best friend and me... This would most definitely be true for the years she was living in Africa and I was here dating Matt, getting engaged, working a day job, and all that jazz. Our email correspondence was pretty epic. Seriously, it should be a book. It tells the story of our lives - including a lot of our real, honest feelings on what was going down and most of the details that we've each forgotten by now. I'm so thankful to have this trail of my life.

There was a time when getting cards in the mail wasn't such a big deal, but they still seemed worth saving. You know, thrown in a shoe box or a drawer of a bed side table. Something that you can find a few years later to remind you of a specific time in your life.

Now I feel like so much of it is buried in our inboxes, co-mingling with our Daily Deals and LinkedIn requests. I have a hotmail account that I check every few months... Buried in there is my history. If I were to go through it I can't imagine what I would find. I can't bear to ever actually close the account. But it could be lost so easily.

Should I go through and print them? Or visit every now and then? I may never do either, but it's comforting to know that I can if I want to. The string that means the most to me... the one between me and Britt... those are already printed and read. And maybe one day you'll read them too... Until then I'm thankful to have someone I can be honest with - who can talk me down, boost me up, and read my notes with the same voice that's in my head when I write them. Everyone should be so lucky.

This post was inspired by the novel The Divorce Papers by Susan Rieger. Young lawyer Sophie unwillingly takes her first divorce case with an entertaining and volatile client in this novel told mostly through letters and legal missives. Join From Left to Write on March 18 we discuss The Divorce Papers. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

We're Done... Right?

IF we were to have another baby, now would be the time. But we're done.

IF we were guaranteed to have another girl - a sister for A, I would go for it. But we're ready to move on to the next stage.

IF money grew on a tree in our backyard, we would be tempted to have one more. But we're good with what we have...

I feel done. I've been able to hold a couple newborns and accept that I'll never hold one of my own again. I'm good with it. It just feels weird. Not as if something (or someone) is missing... Just weird to know that we're done with that part of our family's life.

When you have one or two kids people love to ask if and when you're going to have another... Once you have three those questions come to an abrupt halt. And if anyone does ask it's of the "you're done, right?!?!" variety.

So, are we done? We both love having kids. And once you have three you might as well have ten (says the person who doesn't have ten kids - I know, I'm sure it's actually quite difficult). But, seriously, we love the whole kids thing. And we've been lucky... Our lives as parents have been relatively smooth.

But, all that being said. We're closing up this baby shop. We'll stick with what we are so fortunate to have... these three sweet, fun, and quirky kids.

To make sure we've been giving away the baby stuff as soon as we're done with it... I literally keep a box in A's room and as soon as something doesn't fit her, it goes right in there. Having sisters and friends with babies makes that nice and easy. If we won't use it again, I'm happy to see someone else enjoy it.

How do you know when you're truly DONE? Or do you always feel like you could go for one more? 

Our Wedding Dress: On Sharing a Dress With My BFF

One of the most important dresses a woman might wear is her wedding dress. I LOVED my dress. It was maybe the fifth one I tried on and then I refused to take it off. I knew right away that it was perfect for me. It was everything I didn't know that I wanted. But, at the end of the day it was a dress. I took it off, put it away, and then it sat in my mom's closet for months before being cleaned and stored. And there it sat in my basement.

Then when my BFF Brittany was engaged a few years later I started the process of helping her find a dress. We went to a store. She bought a dress. It wasn't special. So, we ordered some others and tried them on at my house. Still nothing special. So, then I offered to let her try on my dress. I pulled it out of its safe protection in storage and she put it on. And it was perfect. "Wear it," I told her. So, she did.

Some people were surprised when we shared the news that she was wearing my dress. Budget wasn't the reason. Ability to find a dress had nothing to do with it. I was shocked when someone told me they thought it was weird. I never even thought twice about it. It's hard to put my finger on, but it just felt right. I think it made both of us incredibly happy to know that it was something we would always share. There was meaning in sharing my dress. My gift to her was her something borrowed. And the gift we continue to give each other every day is one of the most honest, long-lasting, wonderful, understanding, exciting friendships in the world. We're lucky to have each other. It's that simple.

I think it's beautiful - just like the dress.



No one has ever entrusted impoverished Emmalee with anything important but she takes it upon herself to sew her mentor’s resting garment in The Funeral Dress by Susan Gregg Gilmore. Join From Left to Write on October 19 as we discuss The Funeral Dress.  As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Why I Stopped Watching The Following

Do you watch The Following? I love me some Kevin Bacon, so tuned in for the first few weeks and loved it. Then it started to feel too violent. Sometimes unnecessarily violent. And then it felt like while I was watching and snacking on a bowl of popcorn some psychopath in the US was also watching with more sinister intentions. As the show continued it just seemed like the life of sadistic killers was becoming too sexy and exciting. But, I kept watching.

Then Sandy Hook happened and I told Matt I just couldn't watch anything violent and we just needed to turn off the tv for a while. And then the bombs went off in Boston. It was all so terrible and heavy and made me realize how vulnerable each of us are as we go about our daily lives. I haven't watched The Following since. It's scary to realize the fragility of life, which is the single most frightening aspect of being a parent. The Following made me feel like anyone could be a target, but I was able to remind myself it was a tv show. The shootings and bombings were suddenly real life. You can't escape reality (well, you can, but I'm not really into psychedelics).

We can't stop leaving the house and taking our kids to school and going to the grocery store, I know this. So, I wonder if this is our new reality... Are tragedies like Sandy Hook and attacks like the Boston bombings just part of life? I don't want to admit that could be the truth.

While reading A Constellation of Vital Phenomenon I was reminded of the charmed life most Americans live compared to the majority of the world. I had to keep reminding myself that much of the book took place in 2004 in Chechnya. In 2004!!! As in when I was living the care-free existence of a 20-something in the city. Yet one of the main characters in the book was likely the same age and returned to her ravaged homeland after the start of a promising medical career in London. Fear of landmines, living in a seemingly lawless land, and the devastation that surrounded them was a reality... The fragility of life an actual concern every moment, not just something on television or the news.

I'm still not planning to watch The Following anymore. I'm sorry, Kevin Bacon, I love you and your skinny ties, but the world doesn't need any more ideas on how to hurt each other.

This post was inspired by the novel A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra. In a war torn Chechnya, a young fatherless girl, a family friend, and a hardened doctor struggle with love and loss. Join From Left to Write on May 20 as we discuss Anthony Marra's debut novel. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Playing Politics With Women's Rights Makes Me Nervous About Having a Daughter

When you're a mom of two boys pregnant with a third child whose gender is a mystery you get really used to people hoping/cheering/praying/keeping their fingers crossed that you'll have a girl. I get it. People have good intentions, but I also find it annoying. Honestly, I'm not losing sleep over whether I'll have a girl and I really don't care about the baby's gender. There are many, many reasons I'm fine with having another boy. I won't go into all of them, but I was reminded of one while reading The Bloodletter's Daughter by Linda Lafferty: We live in a dangerous world for young girls.

Much smarter and eloquent people than me have written about the ways young girls and women are objectified. We see if every day, I don't have to go over all the details. But, what scares me most is how in 2012 we seem to be taking massive steps back for women in this country. In the last few months our rights to birth control, reproduction, abortion, health care access, domestic violence protection, workplace rights, and equal pay have been used as pawns in political campaigns. And all of this really scares me.

I have faith that we have enough smart people in this country to make sure we don't go much further down this road, but we're kidding ourselves if we pretend that women are sitting pretty. This NewYork Times article does a nice job of laying out some basic examples... examples that I have a feeling the vast majority of women have no idea are real.

Beyond all of this what infuriates me the most is the fact that women are even being used in this regard. This is 2012, not 1960. I studied women's studies in college and I haven't felt like this subject has been as present in my mind since. These aren't women's issues. These are all of our issues. Women's health, equality, and rights affect men and children as much as they do women. If poor women don't have access to cancer screening at Planned Parenthood what becomes of the family members who will have to care for them and may be left behind? It's that simple.

I want to be sure I am the most empowered, healthy, productive woman I can be, which will make me the best mom possible. Most of all I want to know that if I bring a daughter into this world her rights and choices will be guaranteed, not threatened for political gain.

Inspired by a real-life murder that threatened to topple the powerful Hapsburg dynasty in the 17th century, The Bloodletter's Daughter imagines how one young woman holds more power than she thought possible. Join From Left to Write on September 25 as we discuss the The Bloodletter's Daughter. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

We're Staying Put

When we first moved into our house it was a 3-5 year plan. We knew we would quickly grow out of our little ranch. We bought our house based on location. We knew it needed a lot of work. But, we had to move to a desirable, expensive area with incredibly low real estate inventory, so we didn't have a lot of choices. We also bought the house as a couple pregnant with a baby. We came from living in our condo and the space seemed totally fine. But, things have changed and four years later we're getting ready to bring home baby #3 and started to consider our options.

So, we had a neighborhood realtor come over and give us her honest opinion of whether selling now would be a good idea. She didn't say no, but she gave us a list of things we would have to do first. Most of the things we knew, like redoing the kitchen. So, we did them. We redid the kitchen, reorganized and fixed up our basement, replaced a few window treatments, and packed up some clutter. The changes made us happy. So happy that we decided we'd table moving and stay put for another year.

And then the phone rang. It was said realtor who had a client who was looking for a house in our area. Our house met her needs, but was a little out of her price range. Would you be interested in showing your house, she asked. We thought about it and discussed the pro's and con's and ultimately decided to agree to a showing. So, we de-cluttered more, rearranged some furniture, and bought fresh flowers. We set a price and walked out the door kind of hoping we wouldn't get an offer.

The buyer was interested, but ultimately didn't pursue it. It's a little out of her price range and doesn't have the master bathroom that she wants. It was a relief, honestly. But, then the realtor said: "Your house shows really well. There is very little like it on the market right now and a high demand. I know I can sell your house right now."

So, we considered it. We really did. This is not our dream house, nor is it the house we see ourselves in a few years down the road. But, we have no idea where we would go. We don't know what our next step should be. We're comfortable, so we're staying put. Check back in with us in a year. I'm hoping the "we're not sure" will be replaced with a plan.

My Magic Big Brother Moment

A big thanks to Disney Baby for sponsoring this post and the Disney Baby “Little Character” Contest!

Parenthood includes an incredible amount of "a-ha" moments. One of my favorite moments was when I caught W singing to his new baby brother who was hanging out in his swing. I could hear him softly and sweetly singing a made up song: "You're so cute, Look at those little feet. I love you. You're my brother. What a sweet baby."

I walked into the living room, sat down next to him and rubbed his back, getting ready to tell him how proud I was of him, that he was such a wonderful older brother... Until he finished his song with "I don't love you. Go away" followed by a sideways smile as he glanced to see my reaction.

I laughed, realizing my attention-loving son was figuring out how to be a big brother while still keeping the spotlight on him and using his incredible sense of humor to do so. Little did I know this would be the moment that seems to best define their relationship still. My boys are sweet together. There is so much love there, but W always looks for his next opportunity to get a laugh and maintains an air that he is being a little put out by this new kid.

When you're preparing to add a sibling to your family, it's impossible to comprehend that you'll love the next one as much or share your attention and affection. You can imagine that your children will love each other and develop a great relationship, but it doesn't seem real until you're faced with it. That was the first moment that I experienced what it was like to be the mother of siblings. And I'll never forget it.

That's one of those things that I love... When you think back on life moments it's often the small moments that become the most memorable. I remember building up the moment that W would walk into the hospital to meet his baby brother. I had this fantasy of how it was going to go, but it was hardly memorable. W was more interested in the "Big Brother Gift" we had for him and seemed overwhelmed and confused. It wasn't until we'd been home for a few days, things quieted down, and we started to settle in that real moments were possible.

What is your magic moment as a mom of an infant?  Share your magic moments and vote for your favorite sweet baby in the “Disney Baby ‘Little Character’ Contest.” Proud parents shared photos of their babies for a chance to win $10,000 toward their baby's future education, so help them out with a vote! Voters will be also eligible for a chance to win the Voter’s Sweepstakes, a Beach Vacation at Fairmont Miramar Hotel & Bungalows. Voting closes this week, but you can vote every day to increase your chances of winning!

Disclosure: I was compensated for this post. All opinions are my own.

Dodging My Own Marriage Mistake

For the From Left to Write Book Club we read Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate, a graphic novel about a woman whose mother grooms her from an early age to get married. She does and soon realizes it was a mistake when her husband cheats on her and she finds herself single again. This post is inspired by the book.

For me, getting married COULD have been a mistake. I dated a guy for about six years who was perfect on paper. Tall, handsome, smart, successful career... But, no matter how hard he tried, I could never see a future. I knew his plan was to marry me and he was starting to consider rings. Anytime he mentioned going shopping for some bling, I changed the subject. We were young, but I knew that time was running out.

It got to the point where I had a plan for what I would do in case he proposed. I decided I would accept his proposal to save him embarrassment and then return the ring soon after. The fact that I was even creating this exit strategy was terrible and made me feel like a total jerk, but I was terrified that it could actually happen and knew I had to make sure it didn't. The time had come for us to go our own ways.

I had seen enough terrible marriages to know that one between us would be a mess and could never make me happy. I knew that I would never marry him because I was able to see a relationship between one of my aunts and uncles and knew that would be my life. I could see my future in their relationship and I didn't want it. My parents really did love him, but encouraged me to go with my instincts and follow my gut. It would have been easy for them to tell me to stick it out. If their goal was to marry me off, they had the perfect opportunity. But, luckily they weren't those kind of parents.

And I met Matt two years later and found the right person, the artist who showed me that marriage would be the beginning of a fun adventure with its own bumps and rough patches, but an amazing one that I know I entered for the right reasons. Maybe one day we'll collaborate on a graphic novel to accompany this one called "My Wife Is A Control Freak and Other Lovable Qualities."

This post is inspired by Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. This graphic novel offers a raw, yet humorous look at what happens to Jo after a surprise divorce. Join From Left to Write on Thursday, June 28 as we discuss Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. I received a review copy of the and all opinions are my own.

Good Deeds 2012: Week 21 Sent Coupons to Troops

Good Deed: Mailed expired coupons to a military family stationed overseas.

A month ago I registered to adopt a military family through Coupons For Troops. I had a big bag full of expired coupons waiting for a good home. It took a few weeks, but I received an email from Brittany, who has a two year old and is stationed in England. She's 23 years old with a husband in the Air Force. (When I was 23 years old I was waiting tables and partying at Wrigley Field... how's that for perspective?)

The coupons are in a manila envelope and headed to England, where they'll be put to good use.

What was your good deed this week?

Bump Club And Beyond: Best Resources For All Moms and Moms-To-Be

When you have your first child you research products to find what's safest and has the highest ratings, labor over decisions about what will be best, and get a ton of stuff. Then as you continue to add children you kind of stick with what you have and worked the first time.

I've realized this to be especially true lately as my friends who have their first babies have asked me whether I have used a specific product and I realize I haven't even seen it before. It's not that you give up on getting the best for your kids... You just have your stuff and your way of doing things and stick with it. I definitely did this with B and know it will be harder to justify buying stuff for what I'm pretty sure will be our last little addition to the family. But looking at new baby products is fun and just because I have a ton of stuff doesn't mean I shouldn't educate myself and stay hip with the trends. Right?

So, that being said, I'll be at The Best of Bump Club and Beyond: A Day Filled With the Best Resources For All Moms and Moms-To-Be on Sunday, June 3rd at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum. I'll be checking out the latest in baby gear, have the opportunity to attend sessions on stuff like feeding and sleeping, and an overstuffed gift bag. I'm especially excited about the seminars on healthy feeding and when to transition a toddler to a big bed (because it's going to happen a lot sooner with B than it did with W).

All tickets include lunch from Protein Bar, afternoon snacks from Sprinkles, KIND and the chance to win $15,000+ in giveaways including strollers, high chairs, crib mattresses, bedding, and more. Galt Baby will also be on site with a special pop-up shop selling all of the products exhibited at the event and offering special discounts. It will be a good opportunity for me to check out some new products, get a little refresher on hot subjects, and enjoy something to eat without two little guys trying to steal a bite.

And since it's a weekend and I hate being away for too long, Matt is going to take the boys to the Lincoln Park Zoo (which is practically next door) while mom does some mom stuff.

Will I see you there?

Disclosure: I received one complimentary ticket to The Best of Bump Club and Beyond. All views in this post are my own.

We're Not Religious, But We're Faithful

For From Left to Write Book Club we read I Am Forbidden by Anouk Markovits, an amazing book that introduced me to the world of the Hasidic faith and made me consider my own. This post is inspired by the book.

I'm not really the religious type. My parents attempted to raise me Catholic, but everything in my being always seem to revolt against it. We weren't an especially religious family and rarely actually attended church when it wasn't a holiday or due to a streak of guilt. Matt was baptized Catholic, but that was the extent of his involvement with a church. We're both what I've heard called "recovering Catholics."

We didn't get married in a church. We hired an officiant, who was an Unitarian minister, and included very little mention of God in our ceremony. W was not baptized. At the age of three he has yet to even enter a church. I don't question these decisions. But, when B was born, I started to question my beliefs... Is this it? We live, we create people we love dearly, and then we die? Is that what I really believe? Because, maaaaan, that is super depressing, right?

I was dealing with my own mortality, yes. (It's not lost on me that I had a son named Beckett and then suddenly seemed to have my own "Waiting for Godot" experience...) It's not faith that I'm looking for, because we're faithful people. We believe in doing good. We believe in being truthful. We believe in treating others well. We live with a strong moral compass and are raising our children to do the same. We don't cheat, we don't lie, we don't steal, or do any of the other things that most religions command you not to do. But, are we religious? No. Do we have a general sense of faith that I can't describe? Yes.

So, I asked myself some questions that I haven't before:

Are we looking for a church? Not right now.

Might we in the future? Possibly.

Do I feel like my childhood religion experience added anything to my life? Not really.

Do I feel like my children could gain something from being involved in a religion? Possibly.

I'm not opposed to religion, but as a friend so eloquently said to me recently: "Churches have very little to do with faith or religion these days." And he's right. If we choose a religion, it has to be a place that would feel like home, that would include teachings I would be pleased to share with my children, that was built on core beliefs that I share. We don't need a church or religion to raise good people, but it might be nice to meet people who share our views. I see the opportunity that churches give to volunteer, participate in family activities, and meet like-minded people, but I also see plenty of not-very-good people hiding behind church and religion. So, for now, we'll continue to raise good people who may not step into a church for a few more years. And I'm ok with that.

This post is inspired by I AM FORBIDDEN by Anouk Markovits. Though not sisters by blood but through their Hasidic faith, Mila and Atara views the rules and structure of their culture differently. Mila seeks comfort in the Torah while Atara searches for answers in secular literature she is forbidden to read. Ultimately each must make an irrevocable decision that will change their lives forever. Join From Left to Write on May 8 as we discuss I AM FORBIDDEN. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Good Deeds 2012: Week 18 OneSight

Good Deed: Donating an old pair of eye glasses to OneSight.

I buy new glasses about once every ten years. That time came a couple of years ago when I developed an ulcer on my cornea from over-wearing old contacts. I was grounded and had to spend two months in glasses. It was my prompt to get new specs and in that time I learned that my eyes are much more comfortable after a day in glasses and I have embraced my specs like I never imagined possible. I've even overcome astigmatism in each of my eyes (no joke!).

Anyway, so I tend to keep my old glasses as back up just in case the current pair goes down or something like that... But, seriously, my old glasses are so bad, I will never, ever wear them again. So, tomorrow I'm going to take them to LensCrafters and donate them to OneSight, a family of vision care programs dedicated to restoring and preserving clear vision to those in need through outreach, research and education, in order to hand-deliver the gift of sight to those in need worldwide.

I have very nice glasses with scratch-free, transition lenses (someone will appreciate that, right?), and are just begging to help someone regain their vision just sitting in a drawer.  It's time for them to go.

According to OneSight, 284 million children and adults suffer from poor vision because they lack access to proper eye care and eyewear. More than 2 million pairs of glasses are needed each year to support the amount of people in their Global Clinics, which give free eyewear, eye exams and the ability to live a fuller life. Makes that back-up pair of glasses in your drawer sound a little unnecessary, huh?

What was your good deed this week?

Note: I am in no way affiliated with OneSight, nor was I compensated for this post. All information was found on their website.

When School Counselors and Teachers Dash Dreams? Prove Them Wrong.

The other day my pal Kim met her son's high school counselor, which reminded her of the wonderful relationship she had with her own high school counselor. She asked if anyone on the Motherboard wanted to blog about their counselor or a teacher who was an influence... I thought about it for a moment and thought about is some more.... And then I realized I had very few memories of my high school counselor, except for one thing: She told one of my close friends that she should give up on her hopes for college and do something else.

Now, let's get something straight, I agree that the university setting is not for everyone. There are people who struggle in college and should probably be learning a trade or following a passion elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with choosing another path. But, when you want to get a degree for all of the right reasons and are willing to work hard to get there, that advice isn't exactly encouraging.

My friend is not a good test taker. Her ACT scores and grades reflected that, but she was determined to get a college education. She spent a year at community college and focused hard on getting good grades that would enable her to transfer to a university. After a year she was accepted at a university and graduated with her BA in four years, in the area of study she had wanted to focus on since high school. She was the first of my group of friends to land a job out of college and continues to be very successful. She's survived rounds of acquisitions, restructuring, lay offs, and has literally been the last woman standing. She's amazing and she's a hard worker. And she was determined to prove that counselor wrong. I'm so damn proud of her.

When Matt was in third grade he couldn't memorize the months in order. Matt had just been diagnosed with dyslexia. It wasn't that he didn't try, he tried harder than anyone else in his class, but couldn't do it. His teacher told him that he wouldn't get out of the third grade if he didn't learn the months in order. She was mean. Mean enough for Matt to still talk about it today. And he didn't memorize the months in order until high school. Imagine that... He still went to a Big Ten university for his BA and has a graduate degree from film school.

I think of what I would do if a teacher or counselor squashed my kids' dreams... When do you realize that the teacher or counselor might be correct in recommending your child consider other options - even if that means their heart will be broken? And when do you realize when they're just being mean? I think you tell them that if they want something bad enough, they have to put their head down, work hard, and prove them wrong. I know two people who did.

My Dream Starts With Composting

For the From Left to Write Book Club we read Animal Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, which inspired this post.

When it comes to eating healthy, we make considerable attempts... I cook our meals from whole foods (the vast majority of which are organic). If I could make almost all of our food from scratch, I would happily. I'd love to bake our bread and pasta, can jams and tomato sauce and make our own salsas and pesto. But, right now, it just doesn't seem possible. We live in a small house with a tiny kitchen and I have about three square feet of usable counter top space. We also have an odd shaped yard with old, beautiful trees that don't allow for much direct sun.

I dream of a large kitchen with space to grow herbs in the windows all year and a large island I can use for rolling out scones ad chopping vegetables for soup. I imagine I would have room to use my Kitchenaid mixer (the wedding gift that's been sitting in the box for over six years) and maybe even have a faucet over the stove top. If I'm really laying it all out there, I'd like a cozy booth in the corner for the kids to hang out while I make dinner. Outside we'd have a sunny, large space where I could have a large vegetable garden and a couple of fruit trees and bushes. I'm not opposed to keeping a few chickens for fresh eggs. I'm not asking for much, right?

When we first bought our house more than three years ago (seriously, where does the time go?) I declared that we would start composting and I would have a vegetable garden. Our composting started during our first summer and we were diligent and determined to compost everything possible. We purchased a composter, tucked it next to the house, and started filling it every day. By the end of the summer Matt and my dad had built out my vegetable garden in the only usable space on our property.

Look at all those scraps ready to compost... Better in here, than in a garbage bag.

The following summer was crazy (remember I had shingles?) and we traveled a lot, so we settled for a few tomato plants that did alright, not spectacular. I figured it was because we planted them late and weren't always on top of watering with our busy travel schedule. We weren't great at plants, but we learned a lot about composting and started to enjoy it.

W getting excited about opening his pet worms to eat all that food.

By our third summer I was determined to grow my own vegetables. We checked the composter after its winter break, added some early spring additions, three containers of worms, and waited. A couple of weeks later we had the compost we were hoping for - It was awesome.

Look at that awesome compost! Took a year, but worth it.

We were ready to plant the garden and a week before Baby B was due, I bought seed packs and filled our garden with strawberries, green beans, shallots, zucchini, carrots, cucumber and three types of tomatoes. I had no plan. I over packed the hell out of my little garden (did I mention it's 6 feet by 3 feet?). But, I was nesting and starting to fear that it was now or never... So, I planted as quickly as I could. Matt wrapped wire around the garden to protect it from squirrels and we waited. And waited...

Strawberries are W's favorite food... This is the only one we grew.

Needless to say our garden did not thrive. All in all, I think we got 20 green beans, 1 cucumber, 10 tomatoes, 1 strawberry, and 1 half inch carrot out of the garden. Pitiful. I realized that my little garden spot only got partial sun and vegetables need SUN to grow. And the way I stuffed the garden full of seeds didn't help, I'm sure. We again had really good compost. But, no matter how great your compost, a garden needs sun.

One day I'll have my dream kitchen and garden. Until then I'll continue to compost and grow what little produce I can, because there is something real satisfying about making your own compost. Give it a try.

Could you live an entire year eating locally or the food from your garden? Barbara Kingsolver transplanted her family from the deserts of Arizona to the mountains of Virginia for their endeavor. Join From Left to Write on February 21 as we discuss Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

Be Bold Go Red Girl’s Night Out: Ticket Giveaway

I don't get out much these days. Most moms don't, which is usually just fine with me. Between work and trying to get some quality time in with the boys, I'm usually pretty fried by the end of the night and just want to relax or cross things off my mounting to-do list. So, I've become a lot more picky about the things that I commit to these days.

But, we do live in an amazing city for people looking for a social life. With so many great things to do I often get a little bummed when I pass on some of the fun stuff going on. I mean, Top Chef is great and all, but isn't that what DVR is for? And, seriously, skipping a bedtime routine is just fine with me, especially when your 8 month old insists on screaming hysterically through each change of diaper or clothing. (But, that's a story for another day, right?)

With all this talk of going out, you're looking for a girls night, right? Me too. So, I've marked my calendar for the February 29th Girls Night Out Benefiting Go Red for Women. I went last year and can honestly tell you it was a really fun event, supports an important cause, and allows for some pampering.

Hosted by Sassy Moms in the City along with WBBM Newsradio, K-HITS and B96 the “Girls Night Out Benefiting Go Red for Women!"

Date: February 29th

Time: 7:00 pm - 10:00 pm

Place: Alhambra Place

Cost: $30 VIP ticket includes red carpet treatment, cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, swag bag filled with goodies, mini spa services, fashion show and more!

I would include a photo of me from last year looking all sassy and like I'm a mom out for a rocking good time. But, in reality, I was six months pregnant and didn't have anything red and didn't really feel like I needed to jump in front of the step and repeat for a photo. I wish I had, though. That would be a really fun photo to have on hand. And compare to this year's photo where I will for sure have a cocktail (or three) in my hand.

Anyway, this event is really, really fun. Even better, it supports a great cause that is close to our heart as I mentioned last year. All ticket sale proceeds will benefit the American Heart Association's "Go Red for Women" campaign. Guests are encouraged to bring gently used handbags and professional shoes to help support Dress for Success. (Donations with be accepted from 6 pm – 10 pm at Alhambra Palace.)  

Fun + Philanthropy = WIN. And now you can WIN tickets!

Here's how you can enter my giveaway for TWO TICKETS:

1. Comment on this post about why you need a fun night out. Be sure to include an email address if it doesn't connect back to your blog. (You must comment to be entered!)

2. Follow Hannemaniacs. (Look on the right side bar to follow.) Click on the "Join this Site" button.

3. Like the Hannemaniacs Facebook page.

4. Follow Hannemaniacs on Twitter.

5. Mention this giveaway to your network on Facebook and/or Twitter (one entry for each) by pasting this in your status: Enter to win 2 tickets to an awesome Girls Night Out out at www.hannemaniacs.com. 

Please let me know which of the above actions you have done to be counted.

So, that's SIX possible entries per person. Contest ends at 9 am Friday, February 17th. Enter now!


UPDATE: THIS GIVE AWAY IS NOW CLOSED. The winner (chosen by Random.org) is Tricia @Nightowlmama.

Thanks for participating! 

Disclaimer: Join Sassy Moms in the City along with WBBM Newsradio, K-HITS and B96 for a fun and charitable event on Wednesday, February 29^th, at the “Girls Night Out Benefiting Go Red for Women” at Alhambra Palace Restaurant. I was selected to host this giveaway by Sassy Moms in the City and provided two complimentary tickets to the event. All opinions are my own.

Plucked From The Healthy World Together

For the From Left to Write Book Club we read "The Art of Hearing Heartbeats" by Jan-Philipp Sendker. The book inspired this post.

"There was the world of the sick and dying and the world of the hale. The healthy and hale did not want to know anything about the sick and the dying. As if they had nothing to do with one another. As if one false step on thin ice, one forgotten candle, were not enough to pluck you from the one world and land you in the other."

-Excerpt from "The Art of Hearing Heartbeats' by Jan-Philipp Sendker

Eleven years ago my grandmother died of cancer. It was rather aggressive and fast. She was in her early 70's and we all felt robbed and heartbroken to witness what we knew were her final days. I'm the oldest of sixteen cousins, so always felt lucky that I had the most time with her and would most likely have the best memories, but it still felt terrible to lose her.

As the cancer was taking over and it was clear her days were numbered, my grandfather had a massive stroke. The kind of stroke you aren't supposed to survive. They were in bed sleeping and my grandmother was in too much pain, too weak to quickly get to the phone. It must have been an incredible struggle for her to call for help. That was the last day that Grandma was really lucid and she was admitted to the hospital for hospice care immediately.

Grandma & Grandpa on their wedding day.

Grandpa was in bad shape in the ICU of another hospital. As we upped Grandma's morphine to keep her comfortable, we willed Grandpa to hang in there. Family went from one hospital to the other. Grandma's time was limited, but Grandpa needed to say good bye. Our family and the hospitals managed to allow them a final moment together. Grandpa was transported on a stretcher by ambulance to her hospital. They wheeled him in as she lay unconscious in her bed. He couldn't speak well and his left side was paralyzed. But, we all believe that they were able to say good bye.

She died soon after and my Grandpa was transported to the funeral via ambulance a few days later, able to sit up in a wheelchair. It was heartbreaking. It was tragic. People wandered around the funeral, looking at us with pity. My grandparents were healthy. They were high school sweethearts. It was not their time.

Luckily they created a family that survives through humor, so we found a way to laugh about it. The absurdity of it all. We created humor where most would have found none and ways to make sense of it instead of just crying our eyes out. It was decided that Grandpa never could have survived life without Grandma if he was capable and healthy. They had to cross from the healthy world together.

Today my Grandpa is still alive, trapped in a body terribly damaged by his stroke and in need of round-the-clock nursing care. He married a lovely woman he met in the nursing home, who is a considerate and watchful companion and lost her husband around the same time Grandma died. He found another person to love for the rest of the time he's with us, but he has a plot waiting for him right next to Grandma.


When Julia travels to Burma to search for her missing lawyer father, she discovers much more than she expected. Join From Left to Write on February 1 as we discuss The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

I'm An Extrovert Married To An Introvert

For the From Left to Write Book Club we read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. This post was inspired by the book.

Growing up my mom and teachers called me "outgoing" and "talkative." My mom always went into my parent/teacher conferences nervous. The outcome was generally this: my teachers couldn't help but like me because I was entertaining, but they had trouble controlling my constant need to communicate with the person next to me. I still have this problem (just ask my co-workers). I like to talk and share the things on my mind. What can I say? I'm an extrovert.
 
Now I'm an extrovert married to an introvert. I fill our calendars with plans with my large circle of friends. I like to be on the go, busying myself with this and that. I'm an open book (have you noticed?) and love sharing stories. I go, go, go... And Matt is constantly begging me to slow down.

And, as much as I never thought I would admit this, lately I've noticed a change. I've become more picky about what I'm willing to commit to and try to carve out time for us to be at home, rather than constantly running from one thing to another. I'm enjoying quiet time more than I ever thought I could. This extrovert is changing and there are other subtle ways his introvert-ness has rubbed off on me over the years.

I know some of this may come as a surprise to a few of you, but the voice inside of me has quieted a little. I no longer feel the need to have the last word. I'm not nearly as aggressive or willing to argue with someone. I'm not convinced that the louder person wins the argument... And I can credit Matt (plus maturity, therapy, and less drinking than I did in my 20's) with a lot of it. I look at my most outspoken moments and know my reactions would be very different today.

Now, let's be serious... I haven't entirely crossed the line to introvert. I'm still taking on too much, talking all the time, vocally battling the speeders that whiz by my house, and calling out little injustices when I see them. The quiz still defines me as an extrovert (which is not the most favorable personality according to this book). But, I know that the subtle ways I've changed are good.

I learned from the leadership positions that Matt has been voted into (did you know he was chosen to give the commencement speech for his class at grad school? or that he was the president of his fraternity?) that showing a more quiet confidence goes a long way. I remember once my friend Kari commented that Matt was the first person who was able to get me to shut up. And she's right, because I've learned that if we find a happy medium between the two of us, we're the best team possible.

Yes, it's true, there is something to learn from those introverts. And, in turn, my introvert has learned somethings from me. Just ask him.

Are you and extrovert or introvert? Have any extroverts or introverts changed you?

Join From Left to Write on January 19 as we discuss Quiet: The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain. We'll also be chatting live with Susan Cain at 9PM Eastern on January 26. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.