I interrupt my "disconnect vacation" (more on this later...) to mark the almost two week anniversary of Brittany and Scott, two of my most favorite people in the world and the dynamic duo behind Windtraveler.
I have been lucky enough to know this little lady for roughly 25 years and over the years we've been our own version of codependent. We have a very special friendship and to call her my best friend wouldn't really cover it, so it made me nervous to think what might happen when the two of us settle down... It would take a particular kind of guy to roll with the punches and know that I may be on the phone during some of their fights, know way too much about their relationship, and call for no reason whatsoever. Enter Scott, who is right on in every way. These two are so stinkin' cute, it makes me sick. I mean, seriously. And for the record: I usually defend him in their few and far between tiffs, anyway.
While I am incredibly happy for these two crazies, I'm heartbroken that this marks the beginning of their journey to wedded bliss living on the sea. Yeah, that's what I said. Check out their blog here for all the details. Warning: You may become really jealous or think they're totally insane. (I go back and forth.)
Congrats to two of my favorite people and thank you for letting me be the matron of honor in a monumental wedding. Love you, guys. And, man, I'll miss you like crazy.
I know you've all been waiting to hear how things went during my trip to California to visit the Yahoo! campus and I'm FINALLY pulling it together. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Cut me some slack, I'm lucky I made it in the first place with the whole shingles situation. Lucky, indeed.
Here are five things that I learned about myself at Yahoo!:
1. You can call me a Mom Blogger. Go for it. I don't care, in fact I prefer it. All of us Mom Bloggers (and there are a ton of us) are doing this for a reason. Our lives may be our inspiration, but we're all so very different with vast backgrounds and current-grounds. So, if that's what binds us together, then so be it. Call me a Mom Blogger. I'm in really good company. I'm proud to be in a group with some really intelligent, fun, witty, fabulous women who also happen to be moms.
2. I will never catch up. We cannot keep up with the internet. As soon as we got it down, it's changing on us, right? And with a full-time job and every other bucket I'm carrying full to the top, I'm hardly keeping my head afloat sometimes when it comes to online trends, resources, or buzz. Man, I have a lot to learn. But, luckily, we were gifted the Yahoo! Style Guide, which is THICK. So, by the time I finish reading it, there will be plenty more new stuff to learn.
3. I'm a small fish in a vast ocean. Seriously, I wasn't even sure that I should be going to the conference. But, really, how could I not? Household mom blogging names were there, women that I follow and read, established internet women... And me. But, it didn't mean they were mean to me or act like mean girls. Everyone I met was awesome. I learned what I could, made some really nice friends, and walked away feeling that I'm on the right track. I'm working in the right space for me and I have a good outlet. Most of the women considered this their full time deal, but for now I'm still loving my real job and having fun with this on the side. And that's ok. For now.
4. Yahoo! has to be the best workplace I have ever seen. An immaculate campus with gorgeous flowers. Sand volleyball courts. Basketball courts. Pool tables. And (the best detail ever!) a FREE ESPRESSO BAR. Oh, and I know they really care about the women who work there... No quarter necessary to work the tampon dispensers. I'm just saying... Anyway, it made going back to my cube a little rough.
5. Palo Alto is just about the perfect place for me. Nice people, beautiful weather, best Farmer's Market I've ever visited, a Venezuelan cafe (first I've ever been to), the most incredible downtown area you'd ever wish for, and adorable houses... that cost about $12 mil. So, yeah, I'm not packing up and moving. Clearly. But, when the Lottery comes a-knockin...
These are the general themes that I left with, but trust me, I learned a lot more... Like that I should keep my posts under 300 words (oops) and how to title for better SEO and how important internet security is with your kids and the dangers of sexting and cyberbullying and how people read blogs and where eyes fall on a computer screen and what a really good California Sauvignon Blanc tastes like and that you can buy awesome hairdryers from The Four Seasons and that I now have friends all over the internet that I hope to see in person again soon.
Since I was terrible with the camera, I suggest you check out these photos:
Disclaimer: Yahoo! paid for my travel expenses and basically everything else. And treated me well. Really, really well.
I've spent the past three weekends away from my little guy. Attending to my matron of honor duties for my sister's and best friend's weddings sandwiched the fabulous Yahoo! Motherboard Summit. I worked the two or three days that I was home in between each and then unpacked and repacked my suitcase for the next destination. Oh, and I had shingles throughout all of this. And was drinking heavily. (Who am I to pass up a celebratory cocktail... Or 8?) So, it was a lot of running around for a lot of incredible reasons, but it made July a total blur.
Anyway, I will post about all of these things in due time. I just have to get my act together, because I kind of feel like I was hit by a train. So, I'm licking my wounds, taking all my meds, hydrating, and loading this kid with hugs and kisses. His new words and phrases are just beyond amazing and he even remembers who I am, so it couldn't have been too bad, right?
This mom has a lot of catch up to do on the home front, so bear with me. I feel like I spent the 4th of July with a toddler, but am entering August with a little boy.
For the From Left to Write Book Club we read This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness by Laura Munson, a memoir about a marriage falling apart and the author's refusal to believe her husband when he tells her he doesn't love her anymore. Instead, she takes control of her own happiness while allowing him to find his way back to his family.
In the book Laura decides that she is going to be responsible for her own happiness while her husband has a mid-life crisis in the pits of depression and self-loathing, which, for him, translates to straight-up selfishness. They were dreamers when they met, both of them privileged kids living against the grain. They were artists and wanderers, but a house and a couple of kids later: We find him stuck in a terrible job situation with financial issues and her with a stack of unpublished novels.
I totally get it. I, too, am married to a man who is extremely unhappy in his professional life. Matt is an artist and a dreamer, someone who will always feel like he's playing dress up when in a suit. We've gone through excruciating fights because of his complicated relationship with his job and the sacrifices he feels he has made. He's not his job, he knows that. It's just so much easier to blame each other when we're feeling stuck in a house in the suburbs with two full-time jobs and a dwindling bank account. But, when these fights start I don't hold my tongue, bide my time. I fight back.
Maybe I should have taken Laura's approach all this time. But, here's the thing: I cannot be that person who stays quiet. I just don't have it in me. It would drive me crazy to live around someone, rather than with them. As much as I admire Laura for her ability to breathe, to push away the creeping feelings of anger, of resentment, of jealousy, and live her life on her own terms, I just can't. Like she said to her husband, I would say to myself: I Don't Buy It.
I've been trying in the last couple of years to know when to stop. To hold my tongue, to let more go. And I've come a long way. Not quite as far as Laura does in this book, but baby steps are good. I've at least learned to let a shut door be a shut door and walk away until it opens again. Because it will. I let more slide than I ever have, because I figured out that if I didn't, my relationship wouldn't survive.
However, there are certain things I could never let slide and even though at the beginning of the book Laura asks us not to take sides, it was really difficult. I couldn't get past her husband's late nights out, blowing off his children, his absence day after day, his irritability, the 4th of July he missed... It all made me want to scream at the book: "Run like hell, woman!" I wanted to put the book down and walk away, because maaaan, she was stressing me out.
But, she loves him. She's standing by her man, she's knowing him better than anyone else. She's putting her pride aside. Isn't that what you do when you love someone? You know what they need better than they do, right? And that's supposed to be the basis of a marriage. For better or for worse.
This post was inspired by This Is Not The Story You Think It Is by Laura Munson, which I received complimentary as a part of From Left to Write Book Club. See how other moms were inspired by this book here.
