6.26.2012

Dodging My Own Marriage Mistake

For the From Left to Write Book Club we read Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate, a graphic novel about a woman whose mother grooms her from an early age to get married. She does and soon realizes it was a mistake when her husband cheats on her and she finds herself single again. This post is inspired by the book.

For me, getting married COULD have been a mistake. I dated a guy for about six years who was perfect on paper. Tall, handsome, smart, successful career... But, no matter how hard he tried, I could never see a future. I knew his plan was to marry me and he was starting to consider rings. Anytime he mentioned going shopping for some bling, I changed the subject. We were young, but I knew that time was running out.

It got to the point where I had a plan for what I would do in case he proposed. I decided I would accept his proposal to save him embarrassment and then return the ring soon after. The fact that I was even creating this exit strategy was terrible and made me feel like a total jerk, but I was terrified that it could actually happen and knew I had to make sure it didn't. The time had come for us to go our own ways.

I had seen enough terrible marriages to know that one between us would be a mess and could never make me happy. I knew that I would never marry him because I was able to see a relationship between one of my aunts and uncles and knew that would be my life. I could see my future in their relationship and I didn't want it. My parents really did love him, but encouraged me to go with my instincts and follow my gut. It would have been easy for them to tell me to stick it out. If their goal was to marry me off, they had the perfect opportunity. But, luckily they weren't those kind of parents.

And I met Matt two years later and found the right person, the artist who showed me that marriage would be the beginning of a fun adventure with its own bumps and rough patches, but an amazing one that I know I entered for the right reasons. Maybe one day we'll collaborate on a graphic novel to accompany this one called "My Wife Is A Control Freak and Other Lovable Qualities."

This post is inspired by Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. This graphic novel offers a raw, yet humorous look at what happens to Jo after a surprise divorce. Join From Left to Write on Thursday, June 28 as we discuss Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. I received a review copy of the and all opinions are my own.

8 comments:

Rebecca said...

So glad you found the right one.

Nancy Cavillones said...

Funny. My husband could write the same book! LOL Doing the right thing for yourself is usually hard but worth it.

Brenda Bartella Peterson said...

Finding the RIGHT guy takes some of us longer than others. It took me decades! So glad you accomplished this task early in life!

Charlotte said...

I'd buy that book! So happy for you that you found Mr. Right.

Nicki said...

Oh, I'm so happy for you. Wish I was smarter my first time around.

Thien-Kim aka Kim said...

I could probably write my version of "My Wife is a Control Freak and Other Lovable Qualities"! I'm glad that you found the right husband!

Michelle said...

This is exactly what I wrote about. I'm so with you Lisa. The almost could have been is scary, no?

Jennifer Bush said...

Now that's a book I would read! Good for you for trusting your gut - sometimes it is hard to follow our instincts when the pressure is there.