6.07.2012

Gender Bender: Should We Find Out?

For those of you who (like me) cannot read an ultrasound... this is the profile.
Today was our 20 week appointment. We decided not find out the gender and let it be a surprise when the baby comes in October. And I've been ok with that decision... until this morning. Suddenly the 20 weeks ahead of me loomed. I know how fast the pregnancy time flies, especially after your first pregnancy. But, do I want to wait 20 more weeks? I'm just not sure.
I've gone back and forth all day and here's the deal: I want to know if it's a girl. I don't want to know if it's a boy.

Now, before you judge and start with the "all babies are wonderful" stuff please give me a chance to explain. I don't really care what I'm having. I love having boys and I know I'm a good mom for boys. They've broken me in and I appreciate boys for their dirt and craziness and energy and bug-loving selves. We know boys and we have all the stuff. Boys make sense to us.

I look at little girls and, though I know my days might be more mellow, I can't imagine having to fasten hair bows and puts on tights. I'm not into accessories or pink or bows. I know that all girls aren't into these things, but I just can't imagine having to be. But, yes, there is a part of me that really wants a girl for all the obvious reasons. I won't go into all of them since you can list them as well as I can. And W has said he wanted a sister since the day we told him he would be a big brother again.

But, here is the real reason... Ever since I became noticeably pregnant people seem to be rooting for me to have a girl. My grandmother told me that she is praying for me... Really?!?! (Pray for people who can't feel their children or are facing sickness. Don't pray for a baby's gender that has already been decided.) Strangers seem to really be concerned that it might be another boy.

When I was pregnant with B and told people it was a boy 90% of the time I received this response: "Oh, you'll have to go for #3 to get your girl." And I even said it to Matt when we realized it was a boy. I'm not immune to that reaction. But, I don't need to spend the next 20 weeks trying to convince strangers in line at the grocery store that I'm just fine having three boys.

And, yes, I know I can find out and not tell anyone, but that would be really hard for me. Have you ever seen me try to lie? I struggle to cover a sly smile and practically burst out laughing.

So, what did we decide? We didn't find out... for now. But, we're keeping our options open and if we want to find out, we can. And that's enough for now. It's not always information that I need, it's access to information that's most important. And a healthy baby... boy or girl.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can't wait to meet him or her!

Love ya.
Kari

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Frosted Fingers said...

I had to find out with all 3 kids. I'm a planner.

ConnieFoggles said...

Tough decision. I didn't want to know for the first, but the second I did. And I was wrong both times.

Brandie said...

I did not find out with my first: it was a girl. We found out with the second: it was a girl. With the third we did NOT find out (turned out it was a boy). I don't regret not finding out.
Sure we got a lot of, I bet you hope it's a boy! But, I think if we had found out it during the pregnancy and it was a girl, there would have been some disappointment aired. Once baby arrived, no one cared anymore. They were too busy coo'ing at said baby.

But, you have to do what feels right to you =) Good luck. And either way, you'll know before November, right? ;-)

candy @ Mommypalooza said...

congratulations!! how exciting, no matter what you decide! I do have to say though that I am totally one of those moms who just HAD to know --even though my intuition told me 3 times that i was having a boy...and i was RIGHT all 3 times! :) Can't wait to find out what your little surprise will be!

xo,

candy @ Mommypalooza

melanie said...

congratulations! we didn't find out with one and two, and then my husband just had to know with three (and was so thrilled to get a boy after two girls). we found out with number four for practical reasons (and i have to admit i cried when i found out we were having another girl). i think when you care so much, it is easier to find out when you have the precious bundle in front of you!