6.06.2011

No, Really, I'm Fine, the Crying is Normal

At least half of my friends don't have kids. So, when they read things that include the words LISA, EMOTIONS, and CRYING in the same sentence it seems that their radar might go off. Yes, my getting emotional and crying is not a common occurrence. And even less common is the chance that I might admit that I'm emotional and/or crying. Usually I beat someone to the punch and tell them I'm fine to thwart any emotions that I might currently be burying.

So, my revelation of postpartum crying jags seems to shake things up for my non-mom friends. Man, I have really good friends... I received a number of "you're going a great job," "don't beat yourself up," "are you ok?," "let me know what I can do to help," and (my favorite) "it's ok to cry!" (OK, my most favorite came from Mollie, who thought it was completely hilarious that I've been crying around town, but she's a MD, so knows how this works.) It's sweet.

On the other hand, my friends with kids don't bat an eye at learning about the crying outbursts. They call to laugh about it or discuss with an "oh maaan, that's the stuff that makes me think twice about having more kids." Because you can't imagine what it's like until you've been through it yourself... It's hard to imagine crying because your son just looks so damn cute or getting teary as you walk by high school graduation parties in your neighborhood. It's irrational, it's ridiculous, it could be scary. And that's the point of my putting it out there.

One my goals with this blog has always been to be honest about life as a mom. I learned the first time around that being a mom can be really overwhelming, scary, and isolating. Instead of crying alone in my room and wondering if something might be wrong with me, I'm coming clean about it. To me, the fantasy of a deliriously happy new super mom is rubbish. It puts too much pressure on all of us and I know it always makes me feel better to know that someone else has been through something. Ultimately, if one new mom can read this or remember reading this and take comfort in it, then that makes me incredibly happy.

And if that doesn't work, here's another way to look at it... I know plenty of weak/not-so-smart people who have raised kids. If they survived, so can we.

2 comments:

Windtraveler said...

I love the emotional Lisa - but really, for us non-moms - Lisa + Crying + (admitting) Emotion = WEIRD!! But, I guess if anyone has seen it, it's me...Uh, need I remind you about your little emotion outburst at my wedding? God I love you. ESPECIALLY when you are emotional.

Ms.D. said...

I agree with Brit... Perhaps we were all freaked out by the admission of the emotion more than anything else! HA! :) XOXO