How NOT to Start Your Day

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks with lots of time at work, shower and bachelorette party stuff, some crappy personal stuff, and Hannemaniac Home Renovation 2010. It dawned on me just how bad things have gotten this morning when I encountered the following issues:

1. Matt left for work at 5:30 am. He’s been really busy with work, but since mine has been more pressing, he is finally playing make-up. Oh, and Howie woke him up at 3:30 wanting a walk. Poor guy.

2. W woke up before I had a chance to take a shower, so I “pretended” I didn’t know he was awake and jumped in quickly while he was still contained in his crib, where I was fairly confident he sat with a dirty diaper.

3. While in the shower I found the hotel sized bottle of shampoo I’ve been using to be empty, so had to use W’s California Baby Shampoo and Body Wash.

4. I’m a stress-(non)eater, which means that none of my pants currently fit me. (I’m still too big for my pre-kid pants, yet to small for my post-kid pants.) I’ve been getting by with saggy butt pants, but somehow this morning they looked like clown pants. I finally found a back-up pair of pants with a home-made hem job.

5. W started screaming “milk, milk” at the top of his lungs. We didn’t have any whole milk for the little man. And the skim milk had an expiration date of May 30th. Not OK for him to drink, however OK for me to use in my (absolutely must have it) coffee this morning. I was willing to risk food poisoning.

6. After a quick scan of the bills I realized that I paid COMed for both their bill and our COMcast bill last month. How did I realize this? The NASTY letter from Comcast threatening to switch off my service. Looks like we’ve paid off our electricity for the next couple of months. (Note to self: Look into AT&T. Really, Comcast? One missed payment and you threaten to shut off service? I know it was my fault, but it’s a bit dramatic.)

7. While walking out to the car this morning, I had to pass a tray of sad looking flowers and herbs that are still waiting to be planted in some pots. I’ve been planting every chance I get over the weekends, but it’s only been an hour here and there.

Please tell me how good my hair looks if you see me today.