6.22.2010

Being Sick = Mom Guilt

I have the flu. In a bad way. What I thought was food poisoning has progressed to a serious flu bug. You name it, I got it. Worse even is that I seem to have locked up my neck either from laying on my couch or retching. As if the body ache and headache weren't bad enough... I've been able to hold down Advil this afternoon, but it doesn't seem to be doing a thing.

Anyway, I don't mean to complain about being sick. We all get sick sometimes and I have a tendency to run myself down. With the schedule I've had lately, this isn't a surprise. But, this time being sick is different. This is the first time I've really been sick since my little guy can understand what's going on. Not that he comprehends what sick means, but he understands that he has to be gentle, that I can't play with him, and I'm spending a lot of time in bed and on the couch. And he's being incredibly sweet about it, which only makes it worse.

All I want to do is give him a hug, but I can't. As a working mom , staying home sick is quite guilt inducing. Not only do I feel guilty that I'm not in the office, I feel terrible that the few hours of the day I usually get to spend with him are off limits. I don't want to get him sick and can hardly lift my head. I feel horrible because I'm sick and feel guilty for being sick. It's vicious.

And, I'd also like to state that there is nothing good on tv during the day. Except for Food Network, which is not ideal when you're dealing with stomach flu. Now back to bed I go... Fingers crossed I wake up feeling a little better tomorrow. Just good enough for a hug.

1 comment:

Lara Kercinik said...

Oh dear. That ole' guilt that's tugging at your pant legs can't give you a break -even when you're retching into a toilet!!! Just remember... us moms are laden with guilt from the get go. What we eat and don't eat when we're preggers... on up to whether we pay them too much or too little attention.

Stay at home mom guilt exists too. Ugh... I don't pay enough attention to him when we're around others because I'm so friggin excited to have a "real grown up" conversation that I may as well have forgotten I have a 1 year old running around. It's endless. Just remember. You do the very best you can. And, this too teaches him an extraordinary lesson in patience, empathy and understanding. Sometimes mom's just gotta be first.