5.02.2010

Blind Date

I had a blind date today. We met each other online through a networking site. We e-mailed a couple of times, dealt with a few rescheduled dates, and then it finally worked out that we could meet at a park today.

I had to squeeze in a quick workout and threw my favorite weekend chicken into the crock pot, so that left me with about ten minutes to get ready. I pulled myself together, strapped W into his car seat, and we were off. I wondered if I would be recognized. We hadn't shared physical descriptions about ourselves. Just agreed to meet at the park at noon.

We pulled up and W insisted on walking across the field to the park by himself, which included multiple stops to pick dandelions and check out the random tree. As we got close, I saw a handsome guy walking through the sand in the park. Must be him, I figured.

His mom looked up and waved.

Ahhh, yes, the blind play date. (What did you think I was talking about, anyway?) Two moms new to an area looking for socialization for their sons and, more importantly, for themselves. That's how it starts, I guess. You take a leap of faith and figure worse case scenario might include an awkward and silent hour spent at a park with your kiddo. What's there to lose?

But, then, what if one mom walks away thinking "Wow, new friend!" and the other thinks she couldn't get out of there soon enough? Does a break up have to happen? An "It's not you, it's me"? Blame it on an already full social calendar and hope that you don't run into each other at the grocery store... But, then, you may potentially meet your new best friend, someone you'll click with instantly, finding a kindred spirit who also misses living in the city, feels new to the suburbs, and works full time.

The same way so many people do while they're dating, new moms are looking for a connection. So, blind play dates aren't too weird. Maybe we're not looking for a soul mate, but definitely for a new companion, for someone to travel down the motherhood road with, to call at the last minute and meet for a playdate or cocktail. Hoping for the chance that this will be the friend who takes in your kid when you can't find a sitter and calls when they drive by your house and notice the light in your car is on.

No matter where we are in life, we're always looking for connections. New moms are looking for someone to share their experiences with. It's what helps us learn about being a mom. For me, if it weren't for a very good mom friend in particular, I'm not sure I'd feel so confident in being a mom. We didn't necessarily meet on a blind date. Rather, we were set up by my best friend who wisely knew we were "right" for each other. It was the equivalent of sparks on our first date and we've been seeing each other on a regular basis since. Discussing all the mom things that most people are too scared to admit or feel stupid asking their doctor has been wonderful. And I'm positive I've found a true, life long friend.

As for today... I had a nice time. It went well. I won't get into specifics. After all, I don't play and tell.

3 comments:

Kim Moldofsky said...

Ugh, I cringe at some of those early days (years) of parenting when you are not only looking for friends for your child, but friends for yourself as well. It can be difficult to find the perfect match for all four people involved (and then siblings factor into it, too eventually). Yikes!

I hope it went well for everyone and we'll get to hear how the new relationship evolves. ;-)

Lara Kercinik said...

I agree with this post 100%. Well put, my friend, well put.

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